Think of this as a bunch of negated metaphors. Marathon training didn't result in a marathon this year (due to a sequence of unplanned events), but it enlightened me to some truths nonetheless.
1. Marathon training is not like a walk in the park. Pretty self-explanatory. I thought I'd start simple.
2. Marathon training is not like food poisoning, or a sudden onslaught of a vicious virus. Those things are more like the actual marathon itself, I would imagine. Intensity thrown in your face all at once, not a long, arduous and slow climb to a peak where you're supposed to find that "runner's high." I'll let you guess if I found it.
3. Marathon training is not like having a job. In training, you can substitute days if you're not feeling up to it. For example, if I'm supposed to run 10 miles today, and have tomorrow off, I can take today off and then run 10 miles tomorrow, and then add an extra day off the day after that. 2 off days for one. That just doesn't work in real life.
4. Marathon training is not like raising children. Not that I've done this, but I'm privileged to watch friends do this. When I'm done with training for the day, I don't like to think about it for 24 hours until I have to do it again. Try doing that with children. Actually, please don't.
5. Marathon training is not like finishing an entire pizza by yourself. Are you kidding me? Training is hard. Finishing off a pizza is easy. Not just easy, a delight. Training may have enabled me to do this, however...
6. Marathon training is not like baking cookies. There's only one ingredient to a marathon - running. Lots of it.
7. Marathon training is not like grocery shopping. Oh wait. Yes it is. Here's proof that's so poignantly expressed by my dear friend Renee in her recent post.
8. Marathon training is not like studying for a test. When studying for a test, you take the test, and then walk away from the event, leaving all the information behind in the desk you so laboriously sat in while stressfully taking the exam. Or maybe that was just me. Regardless, there is no way anyone could forget marathon training. It leaves an impression - mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.
9. Marathon training is not rocket science. It doesn't take a genius to run.
10. Marathon training is not like falling in love. This last one hits home with me, because for so long I've thought that finding "the one" was going to take some work. My dear mother has always gently scolded me, saying that when it happened, I would just know. Well, last time I checked, "just knowing" didn't take the 18 weeks it takes to get ready for a marathon. So this is something I'm not working for anymore. Not working for, not looking for, and not wasting time waiting for, either. It will find me, I'm sure. And when I know, I'll know, and anxiously waiting will take the same amount of time and space as not anxiously waiting.
Besides, I don't have time for all that, I've got marathons to train for :).