i can't force change.

The more I live and the more I see, the more I realize the absolute certainty of certain things, such as...

1. leaving food in my car is never a good idea
2. doing laundry is one of the most annoying things in the world
3. working out makes me hyper afterwards...?
4. no matter how opinionated I am about the new healthcare policies being made in this country, I'm still just a girl in College Station, TX...Obama and his administration have no idea who I am
5. I will miss Amanda Scott until the day she sets foot back on American soil
6. no matter how hard I try, I can't change people

This last one is the hardest for me to accept. Partly because I like fixing things and solving problems, and so if I think that I have a solution, I want to share it. But not just share it. It's like how much I love Dave Matthews or peanut butter m&ms. When I introduce people to either of these things, I want to share my love and knowledge of them, but I also want the other person to then love them as much as I do. This is just not reasonable. As much as I know that these two things are good for you, you have to try them and then decide for yourself that you're going to love them as much as I do. This goes for anything, including advice.

Usually people don't ask for advice. Often when they're stuck in a situation they don't realize it, or they can't swallow their pride to ask for help. About a month ago I was asked, however, by someone close to me, to share my thoughts and views on their situation. I humbly and tactfully shared what I saw the problem to be, and then the solution. It was almost as if I was speaking a different language. I think my words were heard, but I can't make someone understand and enjoy Dave Matthews. I can't change people.

I think this saddens me the most because I want what's best for people. I hurt for people who aren't free from their fears and insecurities. I hurt for people who have become bitter and choose not to love. Everything in me wants to change their situation, change their mindsets, change their hearts. But I can't. I feel helpless as I watch them. All we can do is pray, but I often forget how powerful that is. God changes people everyday...why wouldn't I trust these things with Him?

I don't understand how God works all the time. My heart longs for instant restoration, but so often God waits...and waits. I can only trust that in this waiting, He is changing people - He is moving knowledge from our heads to our hearts so that we can live and be free. Waiting for this change in myself and other people is hard, but I have confidence that the waiting is not just idle time.

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