It happens when the dark clouds are rolling in over the hills, edging out the light. The breeze picks up and you can smell change, and nearly taste the rain that is sure to come. Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply of the calm before it's gone. And then, surprisingly, your lips curve into a smile - deeply satisfied with the opportunity to weather the storm. Bring it on, you tell yourself, and then you wait.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my propensity towards dangerous and exciting adventure. The riskier, the better. I've wondered, though, if it's just me, or if this hunger for the wild is innate in all of us. Do we all gaze at craggy cliffs and dream of climbing them? Or is the panorama of wild country just a pretty postcard to some? Am I too adventurous? Are my dreams too lofty? My persuasions too strong?
A dear friend of mine recently pointed out a weakness in my life. She said that often I will speak adamantly in one direction, with the sort of confidence that I could never be wrong, and then sometimes later I will change my mind. I immediately saw this as pride, and an unwillingness to think through my convictions thoroughly before proclaiming them. I have thought a lot about this and am resolved to only speak my mind about matters if I am defending a higher Truth given to me by God himself. My own thoughts, opinions, dreams, and "dares" will remain pressed close to my chest, disclosed to only a few, not as an act of fear, but rather as an act of "treasuring up," I suppose. If the "treasures" last, then others will see them come to fruition, and my dreams and beliefs will be shared.
I talk too much and dream too little. In fact, I realized that I talk so much about dreaming that I haven't got time to dream anymore. I must sleep to dream more. My sixth grade English teacher told me once that "Mediocre people discuss other people, good people discuss events, but the greatest people discuss ideas and dreams." That has stuck with me since then. I have found it true in my short (as of yet) lifetime.
I've been in Scotland for the past month, and it's given me a lot of time to dream. And I'm passionate about my dreams, and I believe that one day they will come true. I'm also certain of truths that have been revealed, and excited about unknown possibilities. But these, all of these, are pressed close to my chest.