famous fridays: hudson taylor.

On this day in history, June 25, 1865, Hudson Taylor founded China Inland Mission. Today this missions organization is known as Overseas Missionary Fellowship International.

A long time ago, I read a biography of Hudson Taylor, although I must admit that I don't remember much of it. One thing does stand out to me, though, that I never forgot, and that was his prayer life. Whether he was in England, where he was born and raised, or China, where he spent most of his life and died, his existence was focused on prayer. He said that he resolved "to move man, through God, by prayer alone," even practicing this discipline in prayer for his boss to remember to pay him his salary. Time and time again the Lord answered, fulfilling one of Taylor's favorite promises in John 14:13, "Whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son."

Hudson's mother found this verse while praying for the salvation of her son, and began rejoicing in the fact that Hudson was saved two weeks before she confirmed this. She rejoiced because she knew; she believed the promise Jesus spoke, that whatever we ask in His name, that He will do.

I want to include the following story I read about Hudson to highlight an important point that I am learning right now:

On January 20, 1858, Hudson Taylor married Maria Dyer, a missionary located at Ningpo. In the summer of 1867 their little Gracie, eight years old, idol of their hearts, fell critically ill. A few days earlier Gracie saw a man making an idol. "Oh, Papa," she exclaimed seriously, "he doesn't know about Jesus or he would never do that! Won't you tell him?" He did so, the little girl following with eager interest. Later on she prayed most earnestly for the idol maker and for all the idol-making, idol-worshiping Chinese.

Just a week later Gracie was dying. Their loss was overwhelming and the tempter whispered, "Your God has forsaken you." But the father wrote a few weeks later: "Our dear little Gracie! How we miss her sweet voice ... and the sparkle of those bright eyes. But He who said, 'I will never leave thee,' is with us ... nothing can ever substitute for the Presence of Christ."

Excerpt from this biography.

I am afraid that we often read John 14:13 and we interpret it naively to think that whatever we ask in His name, He will do. But isn't that the promise? Yes. It is the promise. But the promise is fulfilled when "the Father is glorified in the Son" through whatever He does. Hudson Taylor knew this, for while I'm sure he prayed fervently for the health of his Gracie, and I'm sure he believed with all of his heart that the Lord heard him and would answer, He knew something of even greater importance.  Nothing can ever substitute for the Presence of Christ. Nothing! His trust was not in the prayer that he was waiting to be answered. His trust was in the glory of God!

What a testimony of faith. To pray with complete confidence, not in the response, but in the responder. For nothing can ever substitute for the Presence of Christ, not even an answered prayer.

recently i've been all of content and dreaming.

For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

Who am I to ever question God? The things that I see happening that I think are foolish or crazy, if they are from the Lord, they contain more wisdom than my mind can grasp.

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were considered wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.

This semester I've been learning to trust that God knows what He's doing. I'm waiting to hear back from P.A. school, and it's nerve-wracking at best. The world is going to tell me if I'm good enough to get into their schools. Based on my worldly achievements (or lack of), I'm going to receive or be rejected admission into grad schools. I have often felt lacking, but have had to remember that God knows what's good for me. Also, in the real world where most of my friends have boyfriends, fiances, husbands, and even babies, I've had to rest in the fact that He knows exactly what I need. I'm not lacking because I'm single, I'm just right here right now. The world may say there's something wrong with me if I'm not "in a relationship," but I have to believe that God has a better plan for me, and perfect timing. Worldly standards mean nothing.

But God has chosen what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are..

I'm so glad that I am not measured by things of the world. I'm glad that my life can appear foolish and weak to men, but be exactly what God wants for me.

..so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Jesus Christ, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

It's funny how forgetting myself and boasting in the Lord brings such relief from pressure and anxiety. Nothing I do that is measured by the world matters. All I do is for Him and His sake, and all that He provides is perfect and in perfect timing. His plan for me, however foolish it might seem, is absolutely perfect. Dave Matthews has a song called Recently, and the lyrics say "Recently I've been, all of content and dreaming I have been...people stare and we just ignore everything, people stare and we just ignore them, and they go away, go away."

I like the foolishness of God, because it lets me rest easy. It lets me enjoy the life He's given me, and wait expectantly for the joys and blessings He has for me.

Recently I've been all of content and dreaming...and I'm looking forward to much more :).

Modest Mouse on trust.

This summer has been crazy! I have been in Biochemistry and Genetics, working 30+ hours at Central Baptist and CarePlus Medical family practice, training for a triathlon, and still managing to have a blast with the roommates at the same time. I have been experiencing a lot of new things this summer - new training, new diet, new music, new roommates, etc. It took a little adjustment....okay, it took a lot of adjustment. But God has been faithful, as always.

One band in particular that I've been listening to is Modest Mouse...kind of a throw-back to the 90's. One line from their song Missed the Boat has played through my mind over and over the past few months:

Our ideas held no water but we used them like a dam.

I love the picture that paints. And I have done this all my life. I take my ideas, whether they be practical or extravagant, I assume that they are true and right ideas, and I build upon these self-made truths to try to make them real in my life. But my ideas are just ideas, and in the end, they hold no water.

A dam that doesn't hold water is useless. My ideas are meaningless when used as a foundation to build life upon. And yet, I have done this time and time again, only to have my dam break, and water flood all over what I've created with my two small hands.

If I had to sum up the summer in one word it would be trust. God has impressed upon my heart this simple yet complicated discipline. It's simple because I don't really have to do anything except let go of the ideas I'm holding onto. It's complicated because I love my ideas. What I've learned is that trust is me loving God more than I love my ideas, thereby allowing myself to let go of my ideas in exchange for the opportunity to hold onto a God that has never failed me, and will never fail me. His truth "holds water" and is a firm foundation.

My ideas and hopes and dreams are flawed, and make faulty dams that break. If I trust God, however, He can filter through my thoughts and ideas, build on the ones that line up with His truth, and toss out the ones that hold no water.

I trust Him. It's that easy, and that difficult. As I've practiced this discipline (and it does take practice), I have found that I am content, watching Him juggle all of my ideas for me. I think that He must have a particularly good time with mine, seeing as many of them are quite outlandish and may appear unrealistic. But hey, with God all things are possible, right? I just take a deep breath, strap myself in, and hold on for the ride.

Someone asked me the other day if I was a "glass half-full" kind of girl, or a "glass half-empty." I used to say I would call the glass "half-full." I wouldn't say I fall under either of those categories anymore. Things are the way they are, and I don't spend too much time anymore trying to make sense of what I see. Learning how to trust has changed my attitude, perspective, and even my habits. And I am so thankful for God working this in my heart. Now, I think I'm the person that looks at the glass, takes note that there is water in it, and is just really glad it's there.

purple ears.

After a month of living with sore ears, I finally made my way to the urgent care clinic for the SECOND time this month. The doctor came in, grinning from ear to ear (no pun intended). One look in my left ear, and he said, "That looks like it hurts!"

Later that day, I went to a specialist at the Ear, Nose, and Throat center.
My left ear was the healthy one.

Twenty dollars later, my right ear was ready to go, stained purple from the medicine she put in.

We are all limited in our perceptions. The first doctor didn't have the knowledge to diagnose my problem. He knew what he needed to know; he listened to my symptoms and prescribed me medication accordingly. But he did not have the specialty to investigate my ear closely and see exactly what was wrong. He was going to get rid of the symptoms. The second doctor I saw wanted to get rid of the problem.

Many of us perceive "symptoms" well. Symptoms are the visible and/or perceivable aspects of our lives. I mean, some people don't perceive anything, but usually symptoms are easy to see.

It's always hard to see what's creating the symptoms - what's making us do the things we do, and be the things we are. It takes someone who's been there. It takes someone who is an expert in that area. Those are hard to find.

Until then, I'm going to try to keep my perceptions to a minimum. I think it's healthy to be observant. We need to know what's going on around us. I also think it's good to make perceptions, if you happen to be perceptive (which I am). But I think we should be careful to subscribe a prescription based on a perception of a symptom, rather than a knowledge of the problem.

God is really the only one who can identify the problem. Sometimes he shows us the problems, but most of the time we're left to unravel symptoms. All we have is what we see and perceive in light of what we know to be true. We have to trust God to guide us in our decisions we make based off of the perceptions and conclusions that we draw.

Until He shows us, I think we should leave the diagnosing up to Him and avoid putting purple dye in the wrong ear.

Dreams.

A quote from one of my favorite bands says this:

"Don't lose the dreams inside your head, they'll only be there til you're dead, dream..."
(Dave Matthews Band)


I've been thinking a lot about dreams lately - the ones I have for my life, the ones other people have for me, and the ones I know God has planned. I'm learning that as I grow up and mature, all of these dreams begin to resonate with one another, and I begin to find direction. It doesn't matter that I don't know where I'm going to end up, at least I have some sort of way to turn and follow (Isaiah 30:21 says, "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the Way; walk in it.'").

I firmly believe in purpose. Humans have all sorts of purposes in their lives. To me, purpose seems to compliment identity. My purpose as a daughter is to honor my parents. My purpose as a sister is to love my brother. My purpose as a roommate is to live in community and be a caretaker of my house. My purpose as a student is to study and learn to the best of my ability to obtain a degree. My purpose as an Aggie is to represent A&M and carry on the tradition. And the list could go on and on.

My purpose as a Christian is to know God and make Him known. Funny how our most important purpose seems the most ambiguous and hard to define. I'm learning that the point of our seemingly mysterious purpose is to focus on the purpose-Giver rather than the purpose itself. However, that purpose is important as well, because it is the Way we walk (see Isaiah 30:21 again. God whispers direction, but we walk in it.).

I'm watching people all around me drop their dreams (or purpose) for opportunities or blessings along the way. At first this seems legitimate; after all, isn't a good thing, a good thing? But what about your dreams? What about the things you hold in your heart, and maybe don't let anyone else see? The things that your body aches to see come to pass?

I'm learning that my age-old method of seeing one door close and waiting for a window to open may not be the right way. Dreams tend to unfold rather than open and close, so you only see part of it for a while. Sometimes I think it is good to close an open door in front of you to keep waiting for that other door that your heart tells you will open eventually.

Sometimes it is good to say no to what is in front of you, so that you can say yes to something later. Something better, maybe.

God is teaching me to let go of what's around me, search my heart for the dreams He has given me, and to cling to His promise of fulfilling His purpose for me. There are certain dreams I have that I know could have only come from Him, and He's teaching me to treasure them in my heart because they're from Him. And if I keep looking at Him, He'll either bring them to pass, or give me new dreams.

I'm just looking at Jesus, holding onto my dreams, and praying that He makes them His.

iPod - "Shuffle Songs"

Just about everyone has an iPod these days, so when I talk about the setting, “Shuffle songs,” most people should know what I’m talking about. The beauty of this setting is that it takes you through your entire music library in random order. The irony is how few people actually appreciate and use this setting to its full extent.

There are many ways to access songs on an iPod – artist, album, song, shuffle. Humor me while I meticulously describe the process we all know so well. Let’s just say I want to hear some Coldplay. I can scroll through my artists until I reach the “C’s,” find and select Coldplay, and then choose from the three albums I have. Or maybe there’s that one song I always have to listen to when I pick up my iPod – let’s say “Where are you going?” (DMB). I can search for the artist, album, or son title to hear my song. The problem with hand-picking each song, one after the other, is that unless you have a preset playlist, you have to have a new song in mind at the end of every song played. This is where “Shuffle songs” comes in.

My problem is this, however: when I don’t know what I want to listen to, and choose to shuffle through my music library, I inevitably end up having songs that I don’t want to listen to. A good friend once told me that you may not always know what you want, but you definitely know what you don’t want. So we sift through our “shuffle” looking for a song we don’t know we want yet, and before we know it, twenty something songs have gone by without a chance.

I don’t know what I want, but I know what I don’t want. I think our sinful nature takes this same approach to life. I don’t know who I want to marry, or when I want to for that matter, but I do know that I don’t want to be alone. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my degree after college, but I sure know what I don’t want to do. We play this game all the time – we don’t know what career path to take, but we’ve already decided the ones not to take. We don’t know exactly what we want for our children, but we know precisely what we don’t want for them. When I look at a menu, I usually don’t know what I want right off the bat, but I quickly eliminate what I don’t want. It’s just like choosing to “Shuffle songs,” but then deciding to control what you do and don’t listen to.

To compare this to life, I relate someone who has not placed their trust in the Lord to someone who hand-picks each song in succession on their iPod. They are in control of their lives from one decision to the next, creating their “playlist of choice,” if you will. As soon as we choose to believe in the Lord we have selected the “Shuffle songs” setting. We no longer control the songs coming up next; we do, however, have the option to skip a song, cut it short, or go back and repeat. This is where the problem lies – unlike an iPod, God’s “list of songs” for your life is not random. It is perfectly purposed; each one has its place for a divine reason. When we look at the song He’s given us and choose to skip it, we are not trusting that He is good, and therefore we are not letting Him be sovereign in our lives. On the same note, when we choose to dwell on or repeat a certain song when He’s designated an end and a new beginning, we are not trusting His will in our lives. Until we let the songs shuffle through as they come, we won’t know what we’re missing.

This isn’t to say we should feel guilty when we skip songs while our iPod is on “shuffle.” In fact, I’m doing just that as I write this. If we do it with the Lord, however, we miss out on the blessings and life that He has for us. Another good picture of this is our hands. With our hands, we give and receive, we work and we play. As long as our hands are open, not only can we give and receive freely, but also the Lord can give and take away as He chooses. My temptation is when the Lord gives, to close my hand around that gift or blessing in an attempt to secure it for myself. This seems like such a great idea because then I won’t lose the blessings I already have. I realized, though, that although a closed fist secures what’s inside, it is unable to receive any more from the Lord as well. In order to receive from Him, I must be wiling to let Him take.

My desire is, then, to not decide ahead of time what I want and don’t want. With open hands I want to let Him give and take as He pleases, and with an open heart, I want to sing the songs He gives – no skips, pauses, or repeats.

Fullness in Christ

"For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority." Colossians 2:9-10

If we have been given fullness now, why do we always feel like we're waiting for something? I know I do. God has brought me to a place where I am satisfied in Him...not that I never struggle, but I consciously seek to choose satisfaction. And at the same time, He's not teaching me any huge lessons right now. I feel as though I'm just living day to day with Him - like it's becoming predictable almost. And I get antsy.

One of my blessings and curses is that I am a dreamer. I love to think and imagine adventure and an exotic life. So this "limbo" that I feel that I'm in is hard. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, and my struggle is to want change.

I want to become less dependent on some people, and more dependent upon others. I want to get online less and read more. I want to talk less and pray more. But my tendency is to think that I have to be somewhere else to learn these things. God is teaching me that it may be harder, but through Him I can learn these things here...surrounded by the things I want to let go of. After all, "all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ."

We must trust that we are "full." I am full right now, and the "head over every power and authority" lives in me...so in my weaknessess, He is strong, no matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing. He reigns in me. He reigns in you. It's so easy to say that, and so hard to feel the weight of that statement. I don't need to move away from the things that I need to let go of in order to let them go. I need to trust that He has placed me here purposefully, and will give me the strength to let go in His timing. It's just hard, and when you feel that you're in that place of "limbo," it's time to trust Him and take that step, here and now.

God is patient, but He wants to stretch me, so He's not going to relocate me to make me trust Him...He's going to wait. He's going to wait for me to take a step away from the things that surround me, and a step towards Him. He's not a cheap God who throws Himself at us; He pursues, but then He waits for He is worthy of our Love.

So this waiting period is not indicative of God's action in my life, it's indicative of my action in His. It's time to move towards Him now, rather than waiting for a more conducive environment. God is here and now and His fullness is in me. What better time or place?