I'm learning so many things right now that I feel overwhelmed as I come to write! I don't know where to begin, and my thoughts are hardly organized. So these are the skeletons of what I see happening and what God is teaching me.
...the greatest freedom comes from grace and firm, hard discipline...
...the freedom that we have (mentioned above) enables us not to dance close to sin, but it does enable and encourage us to dance close to sinners...
...the Holy Spirit is alive and well in me, or He should be at least, and that provides power in my life; so am I living in such a way that requires the power of the Holy Spirit...
...do I move the heart of God, because scripture says that I can...
...if I talk about what I love, why am I silent when it comes to sharing Jesus with strangers...
These are all things moving around my brain. I expect to go through them one by one in detail. I'd love to hear input on these topics, or if you have one that you'd like to hear my thoughts on first, let me know.
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
10.06.2009
8.01.2009
Modest Mouse on trust.
This summer has been crazy! I have been in Biochemistry and Genetics, working 30+ hours at Central Baptist and CarePlus Medical family practice, training for a triathlon, and still managing to have a blast with the roommates at the same time. I have been experiencing a lot of new things this summer - new training, new diet, new music, new roommates, etc. It took a little adjustment....okay, it took a lot of adjustment. But God has been faithful, as always.
One band in particular that I've been listening to is Modest Mouse...kind of a throw-back to the 90's. One line from their song Missed the Boat has played through my mind over and over the past few months:
Our ideas held no water but we used them like a dam.
I love the picture that paints. And I have done this all my life. I take my ideas, whether they be practical or extravagant, I assume that they are true and right ideas, and I build upon these self-made truths to try to make them real in my life. But my ideas are just ideas, and in the end, they hold no water.
A dam that doesn't hold water is useless. My ideas are meaningless when used as a foundation to build life upon. And yet, I have done this time and time again, only to have my dam break, and water flood all over what I've created with my two small hands.
If I had to sum up the summer in one word it would be trust. God has impressed upon my heart this simple yet complicated discipline. It's simple because I don't really have to do anything except let go of the ideas I'm holding onto. It's complicated because I love my ideas. What I've learned is that trust is me loving God more than I love my ideas, thereby allowing myself to let go of my ideas in exchange for the opportunity to hold onto a God that has never failed me, and will never fail me. His truth "holds water" and is a firm foundation.
My ideas and hopes and dreams are flawed, and make faulty dams that break. If I trust God, however, He can filter through my thoughts and ideas, build on the ones that line up with His truth, and toss out the ones that hold no water.
I trust Him. It's that easy, and that difficult. As I've practiced this discipline (and it does take practice), I have found that I am content, watching Him juggle all of my ideas for me. I think that He must have a particularly good time with mine, seeing as many of them are quite outlandish and may appear unrealistic. But hey, with God all things are possible, right? I just take a deep breath, strap myself in, and hold on for the ride.
Someone asked me the other day if I was a "glass half-full" kind of girl, or a "glass half-empty." I used to say I would call the glass "half-full." I wouldn't say I fall under either of those categories anymore. Things are the way they are, and I don't spend too much time anymore trying to make sense of what I see. Learning how to trust has changed my attitude, perspective, and even my habits. And I am so thankful for God working this in my heart. Now, I think I'm the person that looks at the glass, takes note that there is water in it, and is just really glad it's there.
One band in particular that I've been listening to is Modest Mouse...kind of a throw-back to the 90's. One line from their song Missed the Boat has played through my mind over and over the past few months:
Our ideas held no water but we used them like a dam.
I love the picture that paints. And I have done this all my life. I take my ideas, whether they be practical or extravagant, I assume that they are true and right ideas, and I build upon these self-made truths to try to make them real in my life. But my ideas are just ideas, and in the end, they hold no water.
A dam that doesn't hold water is useless. My ideas are meaningless when used as a foundation to build life upon. And yet, I have done this time and time again, only to have my dam break, and water flood all over what I've created with my two small hands.
If I had to sum up the summer in one word it would be trust. God has impressed upon my heart this simple yet complicated discipline. It's simple because I don't really have to do anything except let go of the ideas I'm holding onto. It's complicated because I love my ideas. What I've learned is that trust is me loving God more than I love my ideas, thereby allowing myself to let go of my ideas in exchange for the opportunity to hold onto a God that has never failed me, and will never fail me. His truth "holds water" and is a firm foundation.
My ideas and hopes and dreams are flawed, and make faulty dams that break. If I trust God, however, He can filter through my thoughts and ideas, build on the ones that line up with His truth, and toss out the ones that hold no water.
I trust Him. It's that easy, and that difficult. As I've practiced this discipline (and it does take practice), I have found that I am content, watching Him juggle all of my ideas for me. I think that He must have a particularly good time with mine, seeing as many of them are quite outlandish and may appear unrealistic. But hey, with God all things are possible, right? I just take a deep breath, strap myself in, and hold on for the ride.
Someone asked me the other day if I was a "glass half-full" kind of girl, or a "glass half-empty." I used to say I would call the glass "half-full." I wouldn't say I fall under either of those categories anymore. Things are the way they are, and I don't spend too much time anymore trying to make sense of what I see. Learning how to trust has changed my attitude, perspective, and even my habits. And I am so thankful for God working this in my heart. Now, I think I'm the person that looks at the glass, takes note that there is water in it, and is just really glad it's there.
1.02.2009
it's a new year's revolution.
2009. It's gonna be fine!
Not fine as in, "Hey how are you?" "Oh..I'm fine."
But fine as in, "Oooh, that be fine!"
I was talking to a friend the other night about New Year's resolutions. Actually, I prefer to call them revolutions - more gets done, that way. Well, my friend so wisely reminded me that we should be making "revolutions" all the time; we should constantly be examining our lives to see what needs to change or improve, and then we should ask God to kindly help us in our daunting endeavor. But, we decided after some discussion that the New Year is a friendly and helpful marker to put a date on our goals, and to crack down on those bad habits.
So here they are...My New Year's Revolutions (in no particular order):
1. wake up early
2. work out at least 3 times a week
3. do something active once a day
4. memorize more scripture
5. run a 1/2 marathon
6. think on Jesus more
7. cook at home more
8. write more
9. read more
10. be quiet more
I keep them vague, not to avoid actually accomplishing them, but because revolutions build. Revolutions rarely start out fully defined at the beginning, rather, they begin with some sort of unrest. Then this unrest is pinpointed and developed into seeking out a solution, and this solution turns into a revolution. I guarantee you the Revolutionary war didn't begin because of just one cause - unrest developed into a list of reasons for the revolt, and then revolution ensued.
My revolutions are a result of retrospect, into the year 2008. By looking at this list, you get a sort of antithesis to what 2008 looked like for me. I didn't get up early, I didn't cook at home, and so on. These are broad categories, but in my reflectiveness on where I saw failure in 2008, I see this list as a moving upward and onward into 2009.
I have come to sum up 2008 for myself using two words: independence and selfishness. I definitely grew up last year - I feel like I learned more about what it means to be an adult, have a job, make some money, spend too much money, save money, take care of myself, not rely on other people, and just make all my decisions for myself. I had a lot of freedom, and out of that freedom grew independence. But out of that independence, selfishness reared its ugly head. I did what I wanted when I wanted, and I not only didn't think I needed other people and their help, but I didn't want it. There was no surrender to others or to the Lord, because it was mine - this life was for me.
Looking back, I see how my independence brought me confidence and a strong sense of identity, but it also brought me a lot of disregard for things that didn't concern me. I'm relearning this balance.
Sometimes I think I have to tip the scales in order to learn how to keep them even. My words for 2009: discipline and grace. It seems selfishness drives out necessary discipline, and independence has the ability to scare away grace. I never want to get to the point where I am more important than the life and training He has called me to, and I never want to be so assured that my competence might be better than His grace.
So I'm packing my independent bags and reaching for the thought that maybe I need someone, someday at least. And I'm going to start the slow process of killing off selfishness - this will be harder than it seems, I'm afraid. And I'm going to start whispering the stern words of discipline and the kind comforts of grace, and maybe, just maybe.....a revolution will break out.
Not fine as in, "Hey how are you?" "Oh..I'm fine."
But fine as in, "Oooh, that be fine!"
I was talking to a friend the other night about New Year's resolutions. Actually, I prefer to call them revolutions - more gets done, that way. Well, my friend so wisely reminded me that we should be making "revolutions" all the time; we should constantly be examining our lives to see what needs to change or improve, and then we should ask God to kindly help us in our daunting endeavor. But, we decided after some discussion that the New Year is a friendly and helpful marker to put a date on our goals, and to crack down on those bad habits.
So here they are...My New Year's Revolutions (in no particular order):
1. wake up early
2. work out at least 3 times a week
3. do something active once a day
4. memorize more scripture
5. run a 1/2 marathon
6. think on Jesus more
7. cook at home more
8. write more
9. read more
10. be quiet more
I keep them vague, not to avoid actually accomplishing them, but because revolutions build. Revolutions rarely start out fully defined at the beginning, rather, they begin with some sort of unrest. Then this unrest is pinpointed and developed into seeking out a solution, and this solution turns into a revolution. I guarantee you the Revolutionary war didn't begin because of just one cause - unrest developed into a list of reasons for the revolt, and then revolution ensued.
My revolutions are a result of retrospect, into the year 2008. By looking at this list, you get a sort of antithesis to what 2008 looked like for me. I didn't get up early, I didn't cook at home, and so on. These are broad categories, but in my reflectiveness on where I saw failure in 2008, I see this list as a moving upward and onward into 2009.
I have come to sum up 2008 for myself using two words: independence and selfishness. I definitely grew up last year - I feel like I learned more about what it means to be an adult, have a job, make some money, spend too much money, save money, take care of myself, not rely on other people, and just make all my decisions for myself. I had a lot of freedom, and out of that freedom grew independence. But out of that independence, selfishness reared its ugly head. I did what I wanted when I wanted, and I not only didn't think I needed other people and their help, but I didn't want it. There was no surrender to others or to the Lord, because it was mine - this life was for me.
Looking back, I see how my independence brought me confidence and a strong sense of identity, but it also brought me a lot of disregard for things that didn't concern me. I'm relearning this balance.
Sometimes I think I have to tip the scales in order to learn how to keep them even. My words for 2009: discipline and grace. It seems selfishness drives out necessary discipline, and independence has the ability to scare away grace. I never want to get to the point where I am more important than the life and training He has called me to, and I never want to be so assured that my competence might be better than His grace.
So I'm packing my independent bags and reaching for the thought that maybe I need someone, someday at least. And I'm going to start the slow process of killing off selfishness - this will be harder than it seems, I'm afraid. And I'm going to start whispering the stern words of discipline and the kind comforts of grace, and maybe, just maybe.....a revolution will break out.
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