I'm learning so many things right now that I feel overwhelmed as I come to write! I don't know where to begin, and my thoughts are hardly organized. So these are the skeletons of what I see happening and what God is teaching me.
...the greatest freedom comes from grace and firm, hard discipline...
...the freedom that we have (mentioned above) enables us not to dance close to sin, but it does enable and encourage us to dance close to sinners...
...the Holy Spirit is alive and well in me, or He should be at least, and that provides power in my life; so am I living in such a way that requires the power of the Holy Spirit...
...do I move the heart of God, because scripture says that I can...
...if I talk about what I love, why am I silent when it comes to sharing Jesus with strangers...
These are all things moving around my brain. I expect to go through them one by one in detail. I'd love to hear input on these topics, or if you have one that you'd like to hear my thoughts on first, let me know.
10.06.2009
9.25.2009
untitled...suggestions welcome.
I have a feeling of longing that's wisping like the leaves on the ground.
If the air catches just right you can smell the wet dew that's fleeting and fleeing the wind,
Sure to dry it up if it catches on.
I wish I could explain the choke in my chest,
Like a foreboding sadness, unexplained and unattained, yet somehow gripping me all the same.
The prophets foretold what no one could know and we believed them,
Ducking under the trees to protect us from the piercing rays of light.
Truth is all the same when you call it by it's name,
But I like to call it by it's heart.
It's the difference between sound and sadness, love and madness,
My eyes are clouded with the jumbled letters.
And the fog never clears.
If the air catches just right you can smell the wet dew that's fleeting and fleeing the wind,
Sure to dry it up if it catches on.
I wish I could explain the choke in my chest,
Like a foreboding sadness, unexplained and unattained, yet somehow gripping me all the same.
The prophets foretold what no one could know and we believed them,
Ducking under the trees to protect us from the piercing rays of light.
Truth is all the same when you call it by it's name,
But I like to call it by it's heart.
It's the difference between sound and sadness, love and madness,
My eyes are clouded with the jumbled letters.
And the fog never clears.
8.01.2009
Modest Mouse on trust.
This summer has been crazy! I have been in Biochemistry and Genetics, working 30+ hours at Central Baptist and CarePlus Medical family practice, training for a triathlon, and still managing to have a blast with the roommates at the same time. I have been experiencing a lot of new things this summer - new training, new diet, new music, new roommates, etc. It took a little adjustment....okay, it took a lot of adjustment. But God has been faithful, as always.
One band in particular that I've been listening to is Modest Mouse...kind of a throw-back to the 90's. One line from their song Missed the Boat has played through my mind over and over the past few months:
Our ideas held no water but we used them like a dam.
I love the picture that paints. And I have done this all my life. I take my ideas, whether they be practical or extravagant, I assume that they are true and right ideas, and I build upon these self-made truths to try to make them real in my life. But my ideas are just ideas, and in the end, they hold no water.
A dam that doesn't hold water is useless. My ideas are meaningless when used as a foundation to build life upon. And yet, I have done this time and time again, only to have my dam break, and water flood all over what I've created with my two small hands.
If I had to sum up the summer in one word it would be trust. God has impressed upon my heart this simple yet complicated discipline. It's simple because I don't really have to do anything except let go of the ideas I'm holding onto. It's complicated because I love my ideas. What I've learned is that trust is me loving God more than I love my ideas, thereby allowing myself to let go of my ideas in exchange for the opportunity to hold onto a God that has never failed me, and will never fail me. His truth "holds water" and is a firm foundation.
My ideas and hopes and dreams are flawed, and make faulty dams that break. If I trust God, however, He can filter through my thoughts and ideas, build on the ones that line up with His truth, and toss out the ones that hold no water.
I trust Him. It's that easy, and that difficult. As I've practiced this discipline (and it does take practice), I have found that I am content, watching Him juggle all of my ideas for me. I think that He must have a particularly good time with mine, seeing as many of them are quite outlandish and may appear unrealistic. But hey, with God all things are possible, right? I just take a deep breath, strap myself in, and hold on for the ride.
Someone asked me the other day if I was a "glass half-full" kind of girl, or a "glass half-empty." I used to say I would call the glass "half-full." I wouldn't say I fall under either of those categories anymore. Things are the way they are, and I don't spend too much time anymore trying to make sense of what I see. Learning how to trust has changed my attitude, perspective, and even my habits. And I am so thankful for God working this in my heart. Now, I think I'm the person that looks at the glass, takes note that there is water in it, and is just really glad it's there.
One band in particular that I've been listening to is Modest Mouse...kind of a throw-back to the 90's. One line from their song Missed the Boat has played through my mind over and over the past few months:
Our ideas held no water but we used them like a dam.
I love the picture that paints. And I have done this all my life. I take my ideas, whether they be practical or extravagant, I assume that they are true and right ideas, and I build upon these self-made truths to try to make them real in my life. But my ideas are just ideas, and in the end, they hold no water.
A dam that doesn't hold water is useless. My ideas are meaningless when used as a foundation to build life upon. And yet, I have done this time and time again, only to have my dam break, and water flood all over what I've created with my two small hands.
If I had to sum up the summer in one word it would be trust. God has impressed upon my heart this simple yet complicated discipline. It's simple because I don't really have to do anything except let go of the ideas I'm holding onto. It's complicated because I love my ideas. What I've learned is that trust is me loving God more than I love my ideas, thereby allowing myself to let go of my ideas in exchange for the opportunity to hold onto a God that has never failed me, and will never fail me. His truth "holds water" and is a firm foundation.
My ideas and hopes and dreams are flawed, and make faulty dams that break. If I trust God, however, He can filter through my thoughts and ideas, build on the ones that line up with His truth, and toss out the ones that hold no water.
I trust Him. It's that easy, and that difficult. As I've practiced this discipline (and it does take practice), I have found that I am content, watching Him juggle all of my ideas for me. I think that He must have a particularly good time with mine, seeing as many of them are quite outlandish and may appear unrealistic. But hey, with God all things are possible, right? I just take a deep breath, strap myself in, and hold on for the ride.
Someone asked me the other day if I was a "glass half-full" kind of girl, or a "glass half-empty." I used to say I would call the glass "half-full." I wouldn't say I fall under either of those categories anymore. Things are the way they are, and I don't spend too much time anymore trying to make sense of what I see. Learning how to trust has changed my attitude, perspective, and even my habits. And I am so thankful for God working this in my heart. Now, I think I'm the person that looks at the glass, takes note that there is water in it, and is just really glad it's there.
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