2009. It's gonna be fine!
Not fine as in, "Hey how are you?" "Oh..I'm fine."
But fine as in, "Oooh, that be fine!"
I was talking to a friend the other night about New Year's resolutions. Actually, I prefer to call them revolutions - more gets done, that way. Well, my friend so wisely reminded me that we should be making "revolutions" all the time; we should constantly be examining our lives to see what needs to change or improve, and then we should ask God to kindly help us in our daunting endeavor. But, we decided after some discussion that the New Year is a friendly and helpful marker to put a date on our goals, and to crack down on those bad habits.
So here they are...My New Year's Revolutions (in no particular order):
1. wake up early
2. work out at least 3 times a week
3. do something active once a day
4. memorize more scripture
5. run a 1/2 marathon
6. think on Jesus more
7. cook at home more
8. write more
9. read more
10. be quiet more
I keep them vague, not to avoid actually accomplishing them, but because revolutions build. Revolutions rarely start out fully defined at the beginning, rather, they begin with some sort of unrest. Then this unrest is pinpointed and developed into seeking out a solution, and this solution turns into a revolution. I guarantee you the Revolutionary war didn't begin because of just one cause - unrest developed into a list of reasons for the revolt, and then revolution ensued.
My revolutions are a result of retrospect, into the year 2008. By looking at this list, you get a sort of antithesis to what 2008 looked like for me. I didn't get up early, I didn't cook at home, and so on. These are broad categories, but in my reflectiveness on where I saw failure in 2008, I see this list as a moving upward and onward into 2009.
I have come to sum up 2008 for myself using two words: independence and selfishness. I definitely grew up last year - I feel like I learned more about what it means to be an adult, have a job, make some money, spend too much money, save money, take care of myself, not rely on other people, and just make all my decisions for myself. I had a lot of freedom, and out of that freedom grew independence. But out of that independence, selfishness reared its ugly head. I did what I wanted when I wanted, and I not only didn't think I needed other people and their help, but I didn't want it. There was no surrender to others or to the Lord, because it was mine - this life was for me.
Looking back, I see how my independence brought me confidence and a strong sense of identity, but it also brought me a lot of disregard for things that didn't concern me. I'm relearning this balance.
Sometimes I think I have to tip the scales in order to learn how to keep them even. My words for 2009: discipline and grace. It seems selfishness drives out necessary discipline, and independence has the ability to scare away grace. I never want to get to the point where I am more important than the life and training He has called me to, and I never want to be so assured that my competence might be better than His grace.
So I'm packing my independent bags and reaching for the thought that maybe I need someone, someday at least. And I'm going to start the slow process of killing off selfishness - this will be harder than it seems, I'm afraid. And I'm going to start whispering the stern words of discipline and the kind comforts of grace, and maybe, just maybe.....a revolution will break out.
1.02.2009
12.22.2008
go green.
Don't worry, this isn't environmental hype, although I do believe in taking care of our environment - the habitat God has given us to be good stewards of. These are just my recent thoughts on recycling...ourselves, not trash.
I find myself daily wanting new things when old ones break. My computer has been slow lately due to the lack of space on it, and my mind has been fixated on only one thought - how fast can I figure out how to get a new computer. I don't even consider the idea of clearing out memory, or investing in an external hard drive. I want the easiest fix, even if it's more expensive.
I think my mind may work that way spiritually. I find something wrong with me, and I want the Lord to rip it out of me and replace it with a brand new part. I want the quick fix that removes the virus and programs the latest edition software that is working at optimum speed. I'm not interested in taking the time to meticulously take something apart, find the problem, and slowly rebuild while accounting for the weak area.
God reprogrammed us once - when we gave ourselves to Him. He makes us new when we believe in Him and replaces the old. From that point on we "work out our salvation with fear and trembling" with Him (Philippians 2:12). To continue with the computer analogy, He doesn't keep giving us new hard drives...He already equipped us with a brand new one that is fully-empowered and very specific to us. So when we run across kinks later, He doesn't ditch what He's given us, He works with us to perfect what is there. He gave me new life, so when I "break" it, He doesn't throw out the life He gave me, He painstakingly picks up the pieces, putting them back together - reformatting me so that I "work" again.
All this to say, it matters when I let viruses in...it matters when I sin. There are consequences. This new body and soul that He gave me when I accepted Him are not invincible to the troubles of this world - to Satan and sin. Sin and its consequences will put dents into my new frame, and may even penetrate and try to reprogram me. And sometimes, it will succeed.
But the Lord is faithful. I have to be patient and realize that God is not going to throw me out every time a virus invades, or I let down my firewall (now I'm just being way too nerdy). God is going to take me apart, piece by piece, help me find where the damage was done, and then slowly put me back together in a different order to counteract that damage.
My experiences, dings, and dents don't disappear, then. God doesn't wipe them away. He uses them to create new software that is more developped - wiser, maybe. New programs are created that are not susceptible to as much, and they are created around the damages, and even in spite of them.
I just have to be patient. But it's worth it, I think...well, I hope, and I believe. It just takes time.
I've already been recreated once, and that was enough. Now that I'm recreated, I just need to be refined. Refinement is harder, and it hurts more, but I think God will show me in time that it's worth it.
Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
I find myself daily wanting new things when old ones break. My computer has been slow lately due to the lack of space on it, and my mind has been fixated on only one thought - how fast can I figure out how to get a new computer. I don't even consider the idea of clearing out memory, or investing in an external hard drive. I want the easiest fix, even if it's more expensive.
I think my mind may work that way spiritually. I find something wrong with me, and I want the Lord to rip it out of me and replace it with a brand new part. I want the quick fix that removes the virus and programs the latest edition software that is working at optimum speed. I'm not interested in taking the time to meticulously take something apart, find the problem, and slowly rebuild while accounting for the weak area.
God reprogrammed us once - when we gave ourselves to Him. He makes us new when we believe in Him and replaces the old. From that point on we "work out our salvation with fear and trembling" with Him (Philippians 2:12). To continue with the computer analogy, He doesn't keep giving us new hard drives...He already equipped us with a brand new one that is fully-empowered and very specific to us. So when we run across kinks later, He doesn't ditch what He's given us, He works with us to perfect what is there. He gave me new life, so when I "break" it, He doesn't throw out the life He gave me, He painstakingly picks up the pieces, putting them back together - reformatting me so that I "work" again.
All this to say, it matters when I let viruses in...it matters when I sin. There are consequences. This new body and soul that He gave me when I accepted Him are not invincible to the troubles of this world - to Satan and sin. Sin and its consequences will put dents into my new frame, and may even penetrate and try to reprogram me. And sometimes, it will succeed.
But the Lord is faithful. I have to be patient and realize that God is not going to throw me out every time a virus invades, or I let down my firewall (now I'm just being way too nerdy). God is going to take me apart, piece by piece, help me find where the damage was done, and then slowly put me back together in a different order to counteract that damage.
My experiences, dings, and dents don't disappear, then. God doesn't wipe them away. He uses them to create new software that is more developped - wiser, maybe. New programs are created that are not susceptible to as much, and they are created around the damages, and even in spite of them.
I just have to be patient. But it's worth it, I think...well, I hope, and I believe. It just takes time.
I've already been recreated once, and that was enough. Now that I'm recreated, I just need to be refined. Refinement is harder, and it hurts more, but I think God will show me in time that it's worth it.
Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
12.18.2008
growing down.
This is the first post under the new title of the blog - "rooted." Previously, "wanderings," I have been thinking a lot lately about growth (see previous post). As an adventure seeker and romantic, I tend to wander a lot - in my heart, my mind, my decisions, my hobbies. I end up covering a lot of ground, but there is constant unrest in my soul if I'm not careful.
God is teaching me some things lately. I don't think it's bad to wander...for a time. We need experiences to learn. We need new settings to attempt new things. We need change to develop. C.S. Lewis describes this phenomenon as "finding your face." He illustrates it in his fictional story, Til We Have Faces. His idea is that we aren't who we are until we have "found our face" - until we find and know our identity. Then we can live as we were meant to live, and be the person we were meant to be.
I believe that finding face means finding a spot to grow - not a physical spot, necessarily, but a place in Christ. We are, after all, made in His image. We are His body. What part am I, then? What part are you? That is the place to find. And in that place do we begin growth. We're not growing up, however, we're growing down. Roots.
After finding our place in the body of Christ, I believe we then dig in for the long haul, and begin the slow process of penetrating the soil and reaching downward and outward. Downward, of course, into the depths of Christ. Outward, then, is reaching for the other plants or believers planted firmly in Christ alongside you. This process continues until we cannot be moved by any outside force, and until we have connected and intertwined with the believers around us.
My initial thought is of horror. Firmly planted? I can't do that...my heart will burst. I have a friend who says all the time that she goes where the wind blows. I relate completely. My heart cries freedom, and I envy the herds of wild horses that run free and passionate, and move at will. But who created me? Who made me free-spirited and passionate and on fire? The Lord, of course - the one in whom I am now firmly planted, or beginning to plant myself would be a more accurate discription. He knows my heart and soul; He created them. He made me the way I am. When I "find my face," I am not really finding anything new, I am merely realizing how He has already made me, and where my place is in His body, in His plan.
I'm beginning to see that if I will firmly plant myself in Him, and dig my roots in deep, then when He moves, I'll move with Him...I won't be left behind because my roots will hold me fast.
I'm tired of wandering, but I'm not tired of adventure. I am ready, though, to relinquish my wanderlust for the desire to grow deep in Christ. I'm ready for Him to take me where He goes. I have a feeling His adventures are better than the ones I've dreamed up.
God is teaching me some things lately. I don't think it's bad to wander...for a time. We need experiences to learn. We need new settings to attempt new things. We need change to develop. C.S. Lewis describes this phenomenon as "finding your face." He illustrates it in his fictional story, Til We Have Faces. His idea is that we aren't who we are until we have "found our face" - until we find and know our identity. Then we can live as we were meant to live, and be the person we were meant to be.
I believe that finding face means finding a spot to grow - not a physical spot, necessarily, but a place in Christ. We are, after all, made in His image. We are His body. What part am I, then? What part are you? That is the place to find. And in that place do we begin growth. We're not growing up, however, we're growing down. Roots.
After finding our place in the body of Christ, I believe we then dig in for the long haul, and begin the slow process of penetrating the soil and reaching downward and outward. Downward, of course, into the depths of Christ. Outward, then, is reaching for the other plants or believers planted firmly in Christ alongside you. This process continues until we cannot be moved by any outside force, and until we have connected and intertwined with the believers around us.
My initial thought is of horror. Firmly planted? I can't do that...my heart will burst. I have a friend who says all the time that she goes where the wind blows. I relate completely. My heart cries freedom, and I envy the herds of wild horses that run free and passionate, and move at will. But who created me? Who made me free-spirited and passionate and on fire? The Lord, of course - the one in whom I am now firmly planted, or beginning to plant myself would be a more accurate discription. He knows my heart and soul; He created them. He made me the way I am. When I "find my face," I am not really finding anything new, I am merely realizing how He has already made me, and where my place is in His body, in His plan.
I'm beginning to see that if I will firmly plant myself in Him, and dig my roots in deep, then when He moves, I'll move with Him...I won't be left behind because my roots will hold me fast.
I'm tired of wandering, but I'm not tired of adventure. I am ready, though, to relinquish my wanderlust for the desire to grow deep in Christ. I'm ready for Him to take me where He goes. I have a feeling His adventures are better than the ones I've dreamed up.
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